when one door closes...

things are definately looking up.
and its all thanks to some pretty incredible people.

"...you're stronger then you think though. you really truly are and i'll tell you one thing...i look up to you. i really do. i look up to you because to me you are one of the strongest people i know. you've been through far more than any one else and you still smile and laugh and joke and take each day as it comes. i'll always look up to my krystal and hope that one day i can be strong like her. i love you."
-E

it most definitely is an understatement when i say i absolutely love that girl.

sometimes you just need a little reminder. i thank each and every person thats helped me with this...[2 hour long] late night phone calls and all.


i'm happy that i've come such a long way since the past weekend, but there's no denying that i've still got a little ways to go.
i'm better, but not my best. i've still got some healing to do, but who knows how long until then. i can only pray for the sooner to come faster.
i still find it hard to not think about it, but...
i'm happy that things are pretty close to being "normal"...if ever there were a such thing. normal isn't necessarily what is best anyway :)

it's so crazy how one can go about one's life and in an instant, things just change- whether for the better or for the worse. i definitely had a taste of both. there's a lot i've learned about not only myself, but many others.

one lesson i'm grateful for learning is knowing who i can really turn to in my time of need.


[most of all...]
i'm happy that i have the friends that i do.
cause Lord knows i love them with everything in me and without them i'd be nowhere.


to him:
"only time will tell...time will turn and tell."
thank you for being so patient with me. i know this is hard for the both of us, but i'm genuinely happy to have things back, but most importantly to have you back. know that I LOVE YOU with every ounce of my well-being and that i never stopped. i don't think i ever could. it's like you said...we just fit and anything or anyone else just wouldn't be right. there is no denying that everything about you fits the other half of me.



to her:
i truly hope you're proud of the person you are and the things you've done, because you sure as hell have done a bang up job of getting to the status quo that you're at. i didn't think 'nice girls' would or could do such things, but i guess that doesn't stop you from working hard to be you. i suppose you can think of this as the reassurance that there will always be people in this world who view you in an ugly and disrespectful light...and to be blantantly honest, you should look to those who are or were closer to you, because i'm not the one with these opinions. if you can live with that, then great, good for you...though i don't know if that says much more about your character.
i hope one day you'll be able to grow up and out of this current life[style] of yours...maybe take responsibilty for your actions and realize the consequences you've caused will almost always inturn inflict pain or hurt on someone else.




however, there is one thing i will thank you for...

making not only me, but us stronger.

so, thanks.
:)