Healing a case of the Mondays

Time was never an aspect of life that I was ever really fond of. There’s something funny about us hopeless romantic types. After taking a dive in to your refreshing pool of thoughts, I’ve found that perhaps remnants will always remain unbound. Life is too short indeed. And perhaps your “geekier, less attractive” self was a string of your life that has become unraveled, or “unbound” and all we’re really meant to do in life is learn to tie a knot.

At some point I’m sure we’ve all wondered “what happened?”; have all found ourselves looking at frayed ends; wondering where exactly things took that slick turn on a wet road near the edge of a cliff. But truth is something we’ve heard before: we never really realize what we have until something like that reminds us and it's gone.

We think we “have it all”…that we’re invincible, on top of this world, and perhaps even content, that we need no others. Until we make mistakes and discoveries of our own. Learn about the world and its people. We build standards, for others and for ourselves, a feeling like we or they deserve. And maybe some of us do more than others. We end up creating a world beyond the spectrum that our eyes perceive. One where are our mind meets our heart and our imagination collides with our desires. We start wanting and yearning, but in the end what we truly want isn’t up to us, now is it? Only the ones who choose to care and give it free-willingly.

The thing about finding yourself is that this world where minds, hearts, imaginations and desires reside, our defenses shoot up and we tend to create some sort of parallel realm where, disastrously, right turns to wrong…at least 9 times out of 10. Guilty is my plea. It’s like tying a different string to the one that has frayed. You know it doesn’t fit, but you try it anyway and realize that the strings are clearly different and that ultimately, you look like a fool. And with this string of life constantly unraveling after lessons learned, how are we supposed to know what our “original true selves” were or rather get back to that point? Perhaps instead of finding yourself, you just need to find self…in a selfless manner of course.

The feelings we share (love) or inflict (hurt) on others are inevitable. If we all hurt someone unintentionally, then isn’t it true that they too have hurt in defense? Sorry my friend, but you are wrong that we have no guidelines to guide us. That’s what advice from the people we trust and love is. What we forget is that this advice isn’t tailored to fit our personal blueprints. It’s all relative (heh). I have wondered before why we’re put in “a world of questions without answers.” But something I’ve learned is that our questions incessantly change to who we are at the different stages of our lives. So how can we expect answers to stay the same or be there in general if we never know what we’re truly asking?

In my opinion, a life isn’t a life well-lived unless we’ve felt everything, including regret. As hard as it was for me to learn this (and as hard as it is to still remind myself), it is just as important to live our lives feeling things like regret, remorse, sadness, or pain as it is to feel the happiness, laughter, and love—it’s all a part of the adventure.

Everything will be alright. The shedding of cares and the lifting of weights off your shoulders is something that comes with time…ah there it is again, time. And it seems as though your time has come. Just don’t forget what it has taken to get there and what you must continue to do to…knots do come loose, you know. And if you’re going to tie anything to the end of your fraying string, make it kite. As for the rest of what you had to say, I completely agree:

"See, thats the thing with making friends and connections with people. You take what you can from the relationships you develop and when they no longer care for attention, you move on without worry that you will be forgotten. Because if you are to be forgotten, you are already lost. Only true friendships stem from love. Family and the one you truly love are the best of friends. Betrayal is minimal when the heart is involved. Otherwise, it is a false sense of feeling, not worthy of wasting time. There are far too many exciting things in life to experience, too many people to meet and gain from. Friends come and go, best friends stay a bit longer, and love lasts a lifetime.What I have learned is that finding yourself takes trial and error, and someone is going to get hurt, including yourself. You will become a different person, you will scare the people you love, you will scare yourself while still feeling okay about it. But ultimately, one huge lie doesn't make you a liar. We all lie. Whether to save a friend from hurting or to save self. What matters most is that you can come back from it and prove yourself true to those who matter, to one another. That is something that words cannot express, that pleas cannot bargain, and that excessive apology cannot sway. Don't hide from yourself, don't run away from your problems, don't ditch the dilemma you have created. Just stay true."

for the time being

"All the Bibles, Jesuses, gurus, poets and artists have ever said to people is that this minute is the one that counts; not tomorrow or yesterday. That's the whole game. There's no other time but the present. Anything else is a waste of time."

-John Lennon