20050823

in response to a dear friend

(*the comment i'm responding to can be found under the entry 15,000=20,000...)


well little miss celia rose...you know i always appreciate your input. you have a way with making me think beyond the point where i think i can't think anymore ;) so i begin my schpeal...i agree with you (bet you weren't expecting that one...or were you) and have thought about the position you've brought forth to me. its needless to say, not by human nature, but by structure of society, that we like to spend and consume. people like to buy numerous amounts of "stuff" that eventually ends up at their local donation center some odd months/years later (i myself am guilty of this). i do spend my money on rent and food. only once and a while do i treat myself to something new. you asked me about my last pair of shoes...it was about a couple months ago...from target...about 10 bucks to be exact.
i'm not saying that my spending habits should be considered any different than those of the "stars" (although, mine are not attached to a six figure price tag) i am human. i make mistakes, and i'm fully capable of feeling such emotions as guilt. but that doesn't mean i shoudl feel guilty when i buy a meal out on the run when i know i have food at home but don't have the time to go there. just as should i feel guilty because i have the privelage and luxury to use a computer and post all my thoughts? there are many things to feel guilty about in this world, but do we really feel guilty about every single little thing? i think if we did and acted upon it, it would result in everyone living in the times and houses of the little house on the prarie, with no AC or indoor plumbing.
we are blessed with so many simple things in life that we take them for granted. i'm sure a lot of the people in 3rd world countries are more blessed than we are because they learn such appreciations for a cooler day, or day where it does or does not rain, or nature, or anything else in general for that matter.
i guess you could say that the tone of my entry was overwhelmed by the tone of my then current aggravation and shock of the numbers. sure we spend on things that seem unncessary to others (although i wouldn't be caught dead purchasing a $200 ice cream scoop :/ ) but what we spend to buy for ourselves is money in someone else's pocket that may feed their mouths.
you're right, if everyone did give up their riches, who would tend to the middle class of America? i once read from a very wise, intelligent man that "i wish money was not the main religion." the truth about it strikes a nerve, doesn't it? with this i wish what i do do through prayer and volunteer work had a much greater effect as money did if i would give up my ways of living in "luxury" and become poor myself. i guess if the middle class did give up all to the poor, the poor would become rich and the rich become poor and nothing would have changed in the patterns of today's society. i suppose thats just the way the cookie crumbles.


much love to you! i miss you dearly!

-kris







p.s. i'm back in orlando now....i don't remember when you said you would be going back to Transy, but i don't think i'll be back in the good ol' town brandon before then. :( sad day, i know. i guess the internet will have to suffice. maybe we can rendezvous over some grilled cheese and acronyms...LOL... :)

a line for tired eyes.

have you ever felt stuck...literally or mentally? it sucks.

20050815

15,000=20,000...i think not.

so i was flipping through the channels this morning and came across "the fabulous life of...celebrity weddings". at first my initial thought was to think about all the glitz and glamour and how most people wish they could trade places. but as i kept watching i became almost disgusted and realized i'd pick my life over theirs any day...yes even in my 'neverending' financial dilemas. sure every girl has their fantasy wedding, but after seeing that, mine seems like pocket change. a staggering fact that they made really made my stomach turn. forgive me, for i don't remember the exact number, but the cost from 1...ONE...celebrity wedding alone could feed anywhere between 3-16 third world countries. think about that for a second and then think about how many celebrity weddings there are in a year...and then think about how many mouths would be fed if they just got off their pedestal for a bit. the part i absolutely love (sarcasm) is how star jones and other celebrities made a gift registry, a special one for their guests and another for their fans. the one for her guests she made requests for gifts such as a $200 tiffany's ice cream scoop....right....crazy part is, she got it. the fan based registry "gifts" raised money for various charities. star alone raised $15,000. ::applause:: really, i think thats cool and all, but way to humble yourself because the best part is, she went and spent $20,000 on her dress alone. ::crickets:: absolutely blows my mind. other celebrities paid $4000 for a cake. a bloody cake!! which was decorated with real swarovski crystals. ridiculous. now everyone knows that alicia silverstone is this huge environmentalist. so for a gift for her husband to be she bought him a $35,000 hybrid environmental safe car...way to kill all those trees and shell out the money for that pricey ride. there are even more numbers that will take your breath away. i'm not saying that all celebrities are absolutely selfish and money hungry (ha) its just that to them, when it comes to certain "necessities" there is no price because if they want it, they get it. you know what was great, yesterday i watched something similar and they were saying how all these celebrities go on these spiritual retreats to india and other far corners of the world...but they spend over $20,000 to do it, and then spend even more for a hotel stay.

you know what, i do wish i could trade places with them...just so i could give it all back to everyone. the people in those third world countries, my family, my friends...people who i know need it more than myself.

well on this very adgitated note, i'm off to work.

-kris

20050814

here's to william james

stream of consciousness here i come...well sort of. i'll try my best and throw in some punctuation for all our sakes...



so the sound of the laundry in the dryer has provoked me to write, funny how little things do that to the mind. my thoughts this week seemed to battle that unbeatable foe of every sticky situation you've ever gotten into in your life time. it absolutely baffles me how quickly friends can turn their back and be quickest to draw their knives...or claws, however you want to look at it. something inside me knew it would come down to something similar, shame on my for giving you the benefit of the doubt. lesson learned yes, but how should i apply it? i absolutely can not stand people who are ignorant in their blessings. if you have the opportunity to go to school, have that and all your necessities paid for, want to and love it, then why not? oh thats right, you're too busy being a rebel. please save yourself from, well, yourself. on another note, i don't like "them"...i like them...implying a separateness. sorry, its just doesn't mesh in my head. but nonetheless i am human and am very capable of being wrong. yes i love my apartment and being alone, and no i'm not scared. my cousin always knew i was a sort of loner. the other day i finally heard these words come out of her mouth. sounded real different than what i had expected. don't really know why and don't really know how to react. and here i sit at nearly 1 in the morning. of course. she and stevie know my like no other. probably better than i know myself. why is it everyone once in their life finds themselves saying those words at least once? its almost as if it were the two sides of a coin. one being flattering, the other being somewhat sad to think that theres someone else out their that can call your shots better than you can...other than God that is. today i felt like i left someone hanging high and dry in the midst of budding conversation. i didn't realize it til later and now the guilt still sits with me. the person probably didn't even begin to think of it the way i have, but maybe since i've had it happen to me i don't want to do it again. started a new book today. midnight in the garden of good and evil. haven't gotten that far into it yet. frankly i've already got the salt shaker next to me. nonetheless i'll keep reading. the descriptions are great though. makes me really feel like i'm there. afterall thats what we all look for in a good book, right? relativity. that what we look for in a lot of things. the ability to relate with all 6 senses...yes 6: hear, see, smell, taste, touch, and in this case situation. placing yourself in the midst of the fabricated dramas and uttering those words "oh i so know what you mean".

well i think thats enough rambling for one night. besides the dryer has stopped spinning and so have the wheels in my head. the sandman is calling me.