go figure

its an absolutely gorgeous day out and i have to go to work and sit in a 4x4 box and miss out on most of it. oy. hopefully it won't rain by the time i get out.

i've got some things on my mind (when do i not...) so i'll be reporting back sometime soon.

everyone whose got a cloudless sky, enjoy this day. you're lucky.

a funny, yet interesting thought...

i meant to post this a while back, but forgot to. i was having a conversation with a friend and i came to the conclusion that you can sometimes read most people by their hair. kind of the way when you're people watching and some people can tell others by the type of shoes they wear. i don't say this to be judgmental at all, just a thought i had...my thought process follows:

i have a friend whose hair is long blonde, she wears it straight and needs it to be at least "ok" for the most part even if humidity gets to it...her personality--she's an organized kind of gal with a goofy side that comes out every now and then.

a guy i know of...he's got kind of a fo-hawk going on--brought up towards the center with a few messy pieces that have gone astray. my interpretation: he's very centered (not in an egotistical kind of way)...more of a calm, collected, intelligent guy. the messy pieces-he still knows how to be spontaneous and open minded.

another friend of mine, his hair has no real direction. just a nice messy look on top. to me this says carefree romantic thinker. no real direction when it comes to love--just lets love pull him in whatever direction and is ok with it.

my bestfriend---short, spunky and fun...just like her.

my boy---very straight around the edges, pretty tame down the sides. he's a very logic/numbers based person.

as for my hair...its short, slightly fo-hawked, with a few pink pieces. i've yet to come to a conclusion...

this is...life???

i'm so blessed. i know i am. i'm rich in so many ways. i have a great, strong family thats made it so far, even when we didn't think we would after we lost my dad. i have friends who care about me. i have someone who tells me he loves me everday. i have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and just enough money in my name to keep it like that. i'm lucky enough to be listening to one of my favorite artists. i'm back to school for the fall and i'm actually starting out the semester on somewhat of the right foot, despite some set backs. i have a steady job with steady income and actually like the people i work with. i have a car to get to that job. i have the luxury of time to sit on my balcony during the day, watch the rain and read a book.

but why is it that i feel so poor at the same time?

is it me? is it bad karma around me? or am i just that selfish that my heart is longing for something else...something more? what else is there? i feel as if i need something to fill a void. a voice to fill my head. a new sight to purposely obstruct my view.


the other night i had a heart to heart with the best gal in the world. she knows who she is. i was at my lowest. she said something. it triggered something else. and the tears...they stopped. i know my life isn't and will never be like the movies. we all don't want or like to crash and burn. i know i don't. but we're the only ones that set ourselves up for it by envisioning things to always be perfect and to go our way. i just wish i could take that and apply it.

goodnight all.